God had turned his face from me.Aurora argued with me. She pleaded with me. She nagged me. In the end I couldn’t turn her down, so I found myself in the office of the Parish Priest.Of course I couldn’t actually tell him the entire truth, because he would believe that I was delusional or a pathological liar.“Are you sure that you want your fiancée present while you give your confession?” Father Lopez asked.“Yes, she knows everything about me — my sins, my virtues. She is one with me.”“So, first, whoever told you that you had committed unforgivable sins?” Father Lopez asked me.“I don’t remember his name, but it was long ago, during my youth. In France,” I replied.“Ah!” the Priest said quietly. “There are some, shall we say, some Priests, especially in Europe — mainly Germany and France — who cling to almost medieval interpretations of scripture. But he was wrong.“God in his wisdom will always grant grace and forgive your sins, so long as the sinner sincerely regrets the sin and will. As I rode from the Milwaukee airport to O'Hare International, I chuckled: what if the family gathered around the dying person in the hospital, they died, and the family just walked away after the person died – no one claimed the body, no last rites, no services, no visitations, or anything; everybody just goes back to whatever they were doing before the person got sick? There'd be no coffins, hearses, services, visitations, cemeteries, or religious mumbo-jumbo. Just a short 'goodbye while the loved one was alive and their goodbyes could matter.'With Anna's help, I'd done everything I'd been 'taught' when Karen died. In the end, it didn't make any difference. She was gone, the pain persisted, and overtime my mind would cover the pain with scar tissue and it would slowly ebb – just like the pain from my bullet wounds.So, as I rode to Chicago, I thought about the rules I was breaking on this day. I'd just left one girlfriend I loved dearly to immediately see another I felt the same way.
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